The Imperturbable Perspicacity

Spencer Sheats, 21, Ga.
College Student.
Welcome to the inner workings of my mind
...A little bit of truth and a little bit of pandering...

Eventually, everyone is a result of many - there is no “I” for each is shaped by the world around it, each is a part of everything as everything is a part of itself. The only “I” that can be thought of, is the combination of everything together as one. Many are selfish, by so they put themselves as the center, as the “special”, for they wish to dominate the rest, be “above” it - that’s how “me” is formed. Each part of the world is equally special, and we all represent the existence around us.

The Gift

Happiness

Is the gift we give ourselves

When we choose correctly

You are loved

I see posts on tumblr about cutting and people feeling completely unloved all the time. That is just not cool. You are amazing and special - with so much to live for. For everybody feeling down or depressed - I hope you remember to always look at the little things in life. Notice how the sun shines through the leaves of trees, notice how the author of your favorite book works words into magic, and notice the infinite abundance of other wonderful things on this planet. Beauty is all around and you are part of that beauty.


And so, a valiant few rose up against those who held them prisoner.
In defiance, they screamed as one.
Without fear of death, they charged head first into the abyss.
But now, the Gods are pissed.
And in their anger dwells, a place for mankind akin to hell.
And so, without fear, they quench their thirst in human tears.
But human beings are far from complete, and to understand such is absolute.
But in binding chains, we shall never see,
Just exactly what a human being can be.

And so, a valiant few rose up against those who held them prisoner.

In defiance, they screamed as one.

Without fear of death, they charged head first into the abyss.

But now, the Gods are pissed.

And in their anger dwells, a place for mankind akin to hell.

And so, without fear, they quench their thirst in human tears.

But human beings are far from complete, and to understand such is absolute.

But in binding chains, we shall never see,

Just exactly what a human being can be.


Why?

I am here now.

Here I am now.

Now, I am here.

Am I now here?

I, now, am here.

Am I here, now?

Now, here I am.

Now, am I here?

Here now, I am.

I am now here.

Here, now, am I.

I am nowhere.

Does life get better?

In a word, no. It also doesn’t get worse. Circumstances change, but life neither gets better nor worse. There are certainly rough periods where you feel like life better get better or else what’s the point? The point lies beyond the circumstance, in the whole of your life.

Life is experience. We experience good times and trying times. Experience is experience.  We habitually try to create good experiences and avoid bad ones. This leads us to believe that life will get better, and fear that it will get worse.  When we look at life as a whole, we see that the rough times enrich our lives as much as the smooth times.

Life is lived in moments and as a single complete unit. Birth, death and everything in between, each moment of life reflects all of the other moments. The quality of each moment depends on how connected we are with that moment. The quality of the whole is incalculable. If you find consolation in the idea that life will get better, then life is already better than you think.

"Somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of space,Somewhere far away in space and time.Staring upward at the gleaming stars in the obsidian skyWe’re marooned on a small island, in an endless sea.Confined to a tiny spit of sand, unable to escapeBut tonight, on this small planetWe’re going to rock civilization.”

"Somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of space,
Somewhere far away in space and time.
Staring upward at the gleaming stars in the obsidian sky
We’re marooned on a small island, in an endless sea.
Confined to a tiny spit of sand, unable to escape
But tonight, on this small planet
We’re going to rock civilization.”

"The fire in our throats will beckon the thaw"

"The fire in our throats will beckon the thaw"

All in your head

I would consider myself an introvert. For a long time I considered that a flaw and certain peers I’ve had over the years have more or less expressed similar sentiments. I have spent copious amounts of time and energy trying to be more extroverted, which led to a life of unhappiness, confusion, and stress. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve understood that it is certainly not a flaw. At the core, the only thing being introverted means is that we think and react to the world in a much different way than our extroverted counterparts. That’s it. Introverts are not typically anti-social, arrogant, or otherwise unfriendly like a lot of people seem to think. Once I understood introversion more and what challenges I may face, I decided to keep going. I want to learn more about myself. I want to challenge myself. I am taking an adventure of self-discovery. I am forcing myself out of the comfort zone that many introverts tend to create for themselves.

I’ll explain that I have recently read that it is pretty common for introverts to live in their own heads. In many cases that is their comfort zone. People who live in their heads too much tend to think more than do.  Sometimes they feel all of the pieces of the puzzle need to fall into place before action can be taken and that rarely happens. I am quite guilty of living in my own head too much. It has caused for a lot of missed opportunities, friendships, experiences, and more. I am learning how to do more and think less. Over the years, I have spent way too much time thinking about how to change things that I cannot control, thinking of helping or caring about people that don’t want it, and worrying about situations that do not exist and may not ever. I am breaking out of my own head and reserving the majority of my time and energy to take care of myself and improve my own life. I am challenging myself to try something different.

One of the reasons I started this blog was so that I may share anything I feel is relevant or worth sharing while on this little adventure. Maybe somebody will get something from my experiences. Maybe not. If nothing else, it serves as my own personal motivation to challenge myself and experience more so that I can write about it. I am happy with the progress I have made so far and excited to share more in the near future.

Do you think you might be depressed?

If you think you might be depressed, you probably are. Too bad. Being depressed stinks. Being sad is part of life, it comes and goes with time.  Being depressed doesn’t make as much sense, it just lingers. There’s no sense in ignoring your mood, it will be there regardless of what you do. If you are feeling depressed and looking for hope, I’m sorry for this bit of news, you’re not going to get better.

You will not get better, because you are perfect as you are.  You will get happier, that’s certain.  When you are feeling depressed, getting happier is bound to  happen because sadder is not really available. 

Depression is a good, but nasty teacher. Meditation is really hard when you are feeling terrible, but so is everything else.  If you can get yourself to focus on the pain of your depression, and not just will it away through activities, you can understand the feeling. That feeling is not you. You are perfect. I hope you feel better.